Wednesday, October 26, 2011

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test entry from android emulator
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Sunday, January 07, 2007

This blog is not dead..yet

I am posting after full 3 eventful months but I am too lazy today so this post is everything but readable.

Lately , I have been getting a lot of spam on my corporate email address with other emails ids in the cc list. Big Deal? Yes! , because these email ids are of my bosses and their bosses.. way up the heirarchy.. Thank god this spam is not one of the get-bigger mails or I will not have a job for long.

I have seen car drivers being beaten up by two wheeler riders on two occassions. I dont know if they were drivers with 6 months experience like me but my driving function has additional variables now.

There have been many company parties lately but I didn't go to any of them because I have finally got real ; I can't dance, I don't drink and I dont enjoy the food much (I am dieting. I am dieting). However, I went to a party on the new year's eve to durgam cheruvu (rocking place in hyd for parties) and guess what.. I lost my 3 grand cellphone there . I am going to buy a nokia 1100 now unless somebody can suggest a more expensive one. Another reason for me to avoid parties is because they can be disturbing to single (by chance? by choice?) guys like me when people around are doing all sorts of things against the principles of All India Mummy Papa Association .

Even if i go to any more parties, no matter how much the temptation , I have made up my mind that I will not make anymore uncontrolled body movements that resemble any form of dance known to mankind. Infact, long ago somebody was video taping the disco part (i hate this more than video taping the eating part) in a party in which I made my first dancing attempts and yes .. I feature in that video for more than 15 seconds, long enough to be mentally disturbing to anybody sane! I wish I could destroy all copies of that video.

Also, now that I have been successfully able to prevent my waist line to grow faster than my career, I can say that I have finally made an achievement i.e I am no longer eligible to have my photo in "before" section Ads promising 10 kg weight loss in 10 days. Btw, i didnt go to any of these.

On a more serious note, I want to mention a company launched by few friends of mine; aimed towards making life easier for all those looking for campus placements . Check out http://www.universityhiring.com . And yes , they have an excellent product to automate the placement process http://demo.universityhiring.com.

By the way, the mummy papa thing was copied from Abhinav's blog :D.

Saturday, September 02, 2006

Naya ghar!! Nayi gaadi!! Nayi _______!!!

We are all used to fill in the blanks type questions, and the title is an easy one to answer. But seriously, all these days I have been fighting a battle which I am really not supposed to be part of . As you must have guessed already , it was very difficult for me to stop myself from sending hate mail to Asian paints for the ad they once used. Not that people would not ask the question otherwise, but because I have heard the exact same question (*note the emphasis*) from a gazillion people, I feel that this ad has given a new vocabulary (the closest example I can give is a little techy; design patterns as a vocabulary to communicate design..huh). In short "wise" junta has been quizzing me with the same question.."shaadi *kab* karoge? kompuuter engineer ho, 1 saal exp bhi hogaya hai ! ab kyun intezaar hai? " Well most people in this "wise" junta are from the older generations in my relatives, who are ready to attempt to understand a new algorithm to figure out the next largest prime number but not reason for any more delay in my marriage.

To add "visual effects" to my problems..I have had to attend 7 marriages of relatives and "relatives of relatives" (u know what I mean!!), 4 of which were in the second week of august. I always found marriage functions boring except for food. Biryani is what makes hyderabad famous , and the real metric is the meat to rice ratio i.e between numbers of kgs of meat and number of kgs of rice (2 gosha biryani is common for example).

For those who have not been to traditional hyderabadi marriages they are all non-veg except water and desserts, occassions where you get to see the effect of what I call special biryani eating skills. Its like the moment biryani is served on the table, a brisk hand movement would reduce the meat to rice ratio of the serving dish from 2+ to a small fraction. And you should not be surprised to find the hand to be of the old guy who needed help to walk to the dinner table!

Because I think I am dieting and because I think I have lost some weight , the eating part is not attractive anymore. I am still trying to figure out if I was anything more than a car driver with additional but useless IT skills!
However , I am Happy that my parents are not showing any solidarity with the "wisdom" group. Hope they do not get anymore wise for another few years or perhaps until wisdom reins upon me!!

Friday, June 23, 2006

Main Aisa Kyun Hoon

40 days without a post have been really long. I want to write a reason here because I think I am getting the much needed job satisfaction by documenting somewhere that I have been busy with work . Ok Kidding, but this time work was really interesting and required undivided attention.

By the way , things have not been so smooth with my buy-a- house, buy-a- car experiments. Firstly , as strange as it sounds, I bought a used maruti zen to thoroughly convince the nano audiences of this blog that I am surely a confused personality with an exceptional ability to prove mental instability through a series of "car" posts. But I must say that it was a great experience driving my own car , besides the fact that my first car was hit by a scooter on the first day to office and guess in what situation? Imagine a happy "me" (**smiles**), dressed nicely for the first day to office, ready to ignite the new drops of gasoline in the not so new combustion chamber and . . . a teenage kid comes from "nowhere" and hits my parked vehicle. I cant write more of the "morning" nightmare.

And then I made a resolution that hereafter its my car's privilege to hit others and I must say I have been fairly successful in the past few weeks with a pedestrian , a two wheeler and an auto in my "already hit" checklist. No mentionable damage was caused to anybody except for a the exponentially increasing number of scratches on the car's body. I guess I will have a presentable mathematical expression for the same in near future. Should I think of selling in future, after all those future dents and bends that will fill every microscopic area on its body , I would have to search for a portal with a slogan like "find the best scrap metal dealer!! Online!!".

On the house side, painting and wood work have been going on in the past one month. In this process, I have thrown many I-want-this-color, I-want-that-color tantrums and I am sure that there is "hate mail" circulating in the carpentar and painter community already.

Right now I am on a week long leave for "shifting to the new residence". So , what does this leave really mean and how would I allocate my time ? Sleep, television, football matches , food . And yeah , no more than half a day for moving my clothes, computer and of course, my favourite jogger. On a commercial sidenote, my jogger is possibly the only jogger that exists on this earth to have been used for 10 times in 2 years.

And by the way, the title of this post is not justified. I have no questions about myself!!

Saturday, May 13, 2006

home, foosball and dhamaal

It has been over a month since my last post. My home pc was without a net connection all this while and was obviously an object of no attention . The last few weeks have been full of action .

Gave two presentations at office. First one was decent while I was faultless in screwing up the second.

Purchased a flat, well almost. For those homo sapiens following this blog ( oh god, let there be atleast one other than me. Amen), my search for the dream car has ended. Looks like my first car will be a Santro xing . Ironically the search for the dream car got converted into the search for a home after endless unsolicited streams of gyaan people gave me saying that it is foolish to buy a car when you dont even have a own house. This somehow clicked to the ant sized functioning portion of my brain. And now, I am almost done with the home loan processing .

Buying a house to be able to buy a car!. So that you dont have to hear the abundant free verdicts every living individual on this earth will give saying "You have not managed your money well".
Well , its not as bad as it sounds . I didnot consider a home loan earlier because I fear commitment. I fear commmitment because I am absolutely , completely , positively , all-parts-of-speech-that-end-with-ly clueless about my future. Anyway, now that I have a house, I am all set for a car, unless anything gyaanful happens again.

Another development in the last month was the arrival of a foosball table at office . ( table football .. the game joey and chandler are seen playing ) It was a welcome change for me (see prev post on bowling). Foosball soon became a symbol of I-want-an-excuse-from-work solidarity and soon we were seen taking small "work" breaks out of the foos ball sessions. Our love for the game was apparent in the form of broken rods and a non-functioning table, which eventually got replaced by a new one. The new table is on its journey towards complete destruction at an ever increasing pace. For me , foosball is worth mentioning because I have been playing decently well. This premise holds good based on the only fact that I was able to learn it faster than others. However, as others are also catching up , I think I will soon take saniyas with a few early wins, and you know why.
Nah , it doesnt look like the enthu will subside soon.

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Sapnon ki gaddi

I have been driving a 92 model bajaj chetak for 10 years now. People always tell me I am crazy for not buying a bike but I dont care. I love my scooter though it broke down leaving me in situations which would lead to nothing less than a social disaster. Recently , while I was returning after watching "rang de basanti" , it broke down in a red light zone( anything worse on this planet ?? ) . A more recent incident (rather accident) was of the rear wheel coming out while I was driving. I know how lucky I am. I love my scooter.

I always thought I would leave the scooter only if a car was replacing it. (nah , I will never sell it ). I am on the lookout for a car for the nth time , 100! < n < 200! .
In the past two days, I have changed my mind so many times that it refuses to think and shows me a virtual "fuck you" signboard for every plan change. I admit that I have this habit of getting excited about things ultra fast. This time, its real bad.

I have spoken to 100 banks (ok , 5 actually) , 3 financers, 5 showrooms,15 auto agents . I took test drives of two vehicles on the same day. A second hand maruti 800 in the morning, and another brand new Santro xing in the evening. I didnt drive the maruti 800 fearing serious dents to the car that would eventually leave permanent holes the size of "grand canyon" in my pockets. ( Come on, what can be worse than banging a test drive car and having to pay for it , a perfect example of khaya na piya, glass toda , 12 aane.).

For some reason against "principles of marketing", the guy from the hyundai showroom brought a "yet to be sold car" as the test drive car was not availabe. Ironically, I drove it and this was an experience of a lifetime. Now I have some prior driving experience, a maruti 800 (800 Before Christ model ) , an ambassador, and fiat that I owned and sold as scrap for 7.5k. This was more than enough confidence to test drive a benz.

We went to necklace road and the drive was fun. The "kindness" atoms inside me we pleading me not to take the steering, but all in vain. Now this is a long road with hardly any traffic and it went on well. Then we took a U turn by cutting accross a car, narrowly missing a collision . I quickly told to myself "I was too occupied with checking out car's performance while turning",but frankly , it was a big mistake. The lady who was driving the other car had basic driving sense and it was them who avoided a collision. The lady's face had the greatest form of surprise which I cannot express in words here. Had the other car hit us, the best I can imagine myself doing is to pioneer improvisation of the begging industry with IT enabled services.
My search for the dream car is still on!!.

Monday, April 03, 2006

Hansi ke hansgulle

I was excited like a monkey when I heard of a live performance by Umer Sharif in Hyderabad.
Me and my friend decided to give it a shot. We reached the venue half hour before the mentioned time . There was lot of armed police force for the "bandobast" . I am no criminal , but the very sight of the long lathis scares me.
We had to sell of the extra ticket we had, and it didnt look like a great idea to me, looking at the armed men. We gave up soon and got two relatively expensive tickets in lieu of the 3 cheaper ones.

The gathering at the entrance clearly looked like a swarm of bees to everybody except the organizers. They maintained, "please come in a queue". We had to become part of this dhakka dhakki because there were no seat numbers. I wanted to ensure that I get the best possible view. We finally entered the venue, which was actually an open air theatre.
The whole setup was anything but organized. The arrangement looked like it had survived no less than 3 hurricanes. I felt that the old plastic chairs they had might have been stolen from a stone age museum (what an irony, plastic chairs from stone age!! ). It took me an hour to discover that the chairs might have been white in colour orginially. They had all sorts of dirt on them and I am sure a significant part of it is on the back of my trousers now. So the next time you see a nice looking guy dressed in designer trousers with dirt stains on his ass, you know whom you have found.

Each time I moved to adjust my ass in the not -so-comfortable weather condition, the chair trembled like anything . This I knew would lead to a disaster, given the fact that I am overweight by a margin equal to my desired weight. I feared that if the chair collapsed, at best I would have a broken hip bone and a lot of bad bruises who knows where.

To nobody's surprise, the performer was late by two hours. In other words, we were early by 2 hours to have reached on time. We wanted to kill time and nothing is better when compared to eating. So I hurried to a counter that would look like a stall to me if I were blind. I purchased two plates of what they called "ragda samosa". The asshole didnt have change and I had to forego a whopping 5 rupees. For god's sake, I have never tasted shit, but if there was a
way to compare, then this should have been closest to that.

We looked towards the stage.There were a few "bai" women sweeping the stage floor while singing to themselves (nah, I cant tell u what they were singing, coz i was no closer than a kilometer from the stage. What could i have expected for a ticket worth 500 bucks).
When they finished sweeping , they walked in a staight line with broomsticks in their hands. We couldnt see how they looked, but reminded ourselves that we were not watching women doing catwalk with broomsticks as props. There were a couple of projectors projecting arbitrary shapes on the screen. This made me feel that we have been fooled, for it was april 1st.

After forever, a show anchor appeared on stage. Program started with a classical dance by a 9 yr girl, followed by a dance item by a group of boys wearing pants that were shit yellow in colour. Me and my friend were blaming each other , and u know why.

Then came Umer sharif. He started in his own style and went on an on as people held their stomachs laughing. Many jokes were repeated but I enjoyed them anyway. The banner came half hour after the performance started. Just when we started to feel that it was worth it in any sense, the show was over . I desperately wanted to kick my friends ass, but didnt dare to, for he might have had the same feeling , albeit more stronger than mine.